In These Moments
by Tactlessly Drawn
Summary: A quick monologue of a dying man. R&R!


I've been gone for so long... I'm trying to get back into writing again. This is a POV story; it will unfold as the character goes through it. I spent a lot of time on this and I really hope you all enjoy this story! I just want to touch your heart.

**Disclaimer:** I own so very little and what I do own is next to worthless. Please don't take it from me. It's all I have, damnit!

**Warnings:** Same sex pairing(One-sided), character death, mild language and (hopefully) sadness.

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><p>I remember feeling an odd sense of hope once. I remember it was because of something you said. "Hey Sasuke, we're a team now! You can count on me, believe it!"<p>

And I did. Just for a moment, I really did forget all the pain. I didn't feel alone. I suppose it was that moment when I realized, we were best friends. Because you were as lonely as I was, aren't you? You always understood me best. Always knew what I was thinking, feeling or even going to say. But even that wasn't enough to make me forget. I'm sorry I didn't believe for long enough for it to mean something. Well I guess what they say is true. Misery loves company. Isn't that why you fought so hard to get my attention? Because you knew, smelled and felt that isolation. It was different than all of those people around us.

That place named Konoha, the Hidden Leaf village, was our meeting place. Do you think I should have returned to it? I don't think I would have. It would have only tried to kill me. Rogue ninja, remember? I do. I can't forget! I always denied you of my companionship. I always thought you were nothing but a worthless, nameless ninja and I wasn't. I was Uchiha Sasuke. I came from a great bloodline of strength and ability. Where did you come from? Nowhere. But I forgot I was the same as you were. I was a nameless ninja. I didn't want to be either or those things. But its what I am now. And what are you? Proud, world known, respected and loved by everyone. You are Uzumaki Naruto. I am nothing, and it's you who has ended up denying me now.

I have been asking around about you, making sure you are still alive. I needed to know because somehow if you died, I would have to die as well. You promised we'd die together. Isn't that how star-crossed lovers do it? Like Romeo and Juliet. Are we star-crossed lovers? Do you even realize how my heart is yours? No, because I am nothing but a coward! I never had enough courage to just say three words. It wouldn't be just three words with you. I'd try to say them, you would tell me to "spit it out" and I would just say it under my breath. Somehow you would hear it and shocked silence would be there. And then, the questions would come. Those are what scared me most. Still scare me. How am I to answer them all to your liking? I can't even answer them to myself. Isn't that pathetic?

We aren't Romeo and Juliet. We are Sasuke and Naruto. We were childhood friends, rivals and then enemies. Just because I've loved you, doesn't mean you've ever loved me back. Not like that, I know that. I just don't know what would have made you stop. It could have been your friends convinced you I'm not worth it anymore. Or maybe you believed my words. The words that meant to push you away finally worked. Why else would you have given up? You just stopped searching for me. Why? Are we no longer friends, rivals or enemies? What am I to you now? I guess I am nothing but a memory, a bad dream.

Where are you? You always preached that we are bonded. Do you feel me? Do you feel what I'm feeling now? Because I'm afraid of what is going on. I don't know how to stop it and you always had an answer for everything! Where are the answers now? WHERE ARE YOU NOW! Where are you when I need you most? You are probably too busy with your precious village. In that place that means more to you than me. It always came before everyone and everything for you. You so desperately wanted to show it how amazing you were. Always that damned village! You promised to me and now you've broke it. How does it feel, Naruto?

Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to be there with you. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I showed up. What would you do? What could I do to make you forgive me? I remember all the times you've gone out of your way for me. Smiling at me, including me in conversations, going out of your way to train with me and just being my friend.

Am I really starting to tally all the things I owe to you? I'm going to need a lot of time to do so. But I can't even say one thank you to you, can I? I don't think I can, don't have time to do so. And even if I did, I'll have to step foot in a place I hate almost as much as I hate the solitude.

Oh, do you want to know where I've been? Oh very well. I've been in Snow Country. I've always loved the cold. You never cared what the weather was, you were just happy to have that day. Why couldn't I have that same hope? I suppose I deserve it, after all I've done. I deserve no peace.

Maybe it's cold and dark or it's warm and bright or everything is in between. In this exact moment I can tell you how I feel. I feel lost and crying alone on a raft made of wood adrift. I feel safe, laughing as the beautiful lush grass tickles my running feet. I feel the pain of the forest as we remove some of its family. I feel the gentle pat atop a pile of dirt as a seed sleeps beneath. But this is what I feel. It makes me wonder what you feel. Do you feel these words? Do you feel my breath ghost against your cheek? I hope you do. I'm always the watcher, the one who sees all that you do. Am I a real person or just imagination that's run away?

I can't tell what I am anymore. But maybe you can, but I'm too afraid to speak. Will it ruin all we have obtained so far? Do you even remember my name? You haven't said it in so long. I always whisper yours on the breeze.

I've lost everything and I wanted to destroy everything that reminded me of it all. All that pain that gripped my soul. It weighed me down. I just want to tell you that I'm not okay. I never was. I'm reaching for help in a place that no longer knows my name.

All because I'm dying and I know it. You know, there are three kinds of people in this world. Guilty people who've done wrong and beg for forgiveness, innocent people whose only crime was not being wary enough and fools. Fools who forget who they wanted to be.

And it's in these moments that you realize which one you are.

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><p>And... That's a wrap, people! I hope you all have enjoyed! Because I've written this for all of you! Please review or PM anything about this. I always will listen to you.<p> 


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